Lately when I look into the mirror I just don't recognize myself. I don't identify with who I see in my reflection. It's me but I have changed so much. It's not just who I am that I love…but horribly it's my figure.
This sounds lame of me but I miss what I looked like just a short five years ago. I was a pretty hot chicky. Now well.... In less than five years I got engaged, married pregnant and had three children. Five years ago January 15th I wore a size 4 wedding dress and walked down the aisle. Now I wear a .... much larger size.
It's weird though. My mind doesn't totally know this. I still pick up clothes to try on that are many sizes too small for me. I still have the clothes in my closet that I probably will never ever wear again. I keep them, in hopes that I will again. Is it wrong? Wrong to want my figure back. It's a frustrating fact that I look into the mirror think I look okay then later am reminded on just how large I really a now by a picture. It's funny because when I took that picture I thought I was looking pretty good. It's said that in a picture you gain 10lbs... for me it's more like 30. So let’s do the math.... I am 5feet 7 inches. When I was wed I weighed 125... I now weigh 160. Then I wore a size 4-6 now 12-14. I know size is only a number but I have to say I cannot stand this number. This is not me. I know that with kids you change and gain and keep supposable 5 pounds with each kid. So that for me is 15 pounds of un-removable weight!!! So... where the hell did the extra 20 come from???So here is my goal. Not an unreachable goal. Nothing ridiculous, nothing unattainable. By my Birthday May 14th 2010 I'll be 36 and I want to be back down to 135 and a size 8.
That is do able :o)
The race is on. I just have to make it through 4 family Birthday parties, Thanksgiving & Christmas without packing on the bulge.
I can do it!!!! So here I go... Wish me luck!