I have come to the conclusion that I am more stressed, disorganized, pressured, worried, wound up, tense, heart ached and worn out than I have ever been in my life these days.
The trials of my life is getting to me. It is... I am completely saturated with the woes of my
Mother combined with the normal wear and tear of my little Family, friends, acquaintances and it is leaving torn at the seams. I have nothing left for myself.... It is effecting the way I handle things in my day to day life. How I am with my kids. They deserve a whole Mommy not this cheap impostor they are getting right now. They are happy though they get what they need want .. so life is good. They do deserve the real thing though.
But....
What do you do when you need to re set recharge or what ever.. and can't?? It's not like I can leave to have a quiet walk by myself just to let my brain get off of pause. It's just not possible. Every corner of my life right now is a reminder of the chaotic mess it's become. Every where I turn I'm reminded that I need to resort well... EVERYTHING.
So now what? Do I should I close all the windows and lock all the doors?? Julie can't come out and play today... she's not feeling Well....?
I fear just another brick on my wobbly foundation will bring the whole thing down around me.
Ever feel like this?? What to do ... what to do??
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